I’m a weirdo magnet. That is to say, if there is a weirdo around, they will find me. This doesn’t change when I travel, then I’m a wanderlust weirdo magnet. In today’s tale, I specifically met a weird couple in Bulgaria.
If there is a weirdo within my general vicinity, they are coming straight toward me without a doubt. A few months ago I got on the subway to go to work. I was terrified because I know that weirdos flock to me. I sat in a seat, minded my business, and dove into my book. Perhaps 15 minutes later, a homeless man walked down the subway car, ignoring everyone looking at him and beelined for me, one of the few people not making eye contact. “I BET YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU’RE READING A BOOK, BITCH.” I’ve been on the receiving end of stalking, staring, and being followed more often than I can count, especially in my home city.
A New Friend
My husband and I were visiting beautiful Sunny Beach, Bulgaria as part of our honeymoon trip. Our resort was all inclusive. There was all you can drink tap beer specifically by the pool which was great. Arthur and I get beers, two in each hand, naturally.
“Oh, hello! My name is Melinda. Are you staying at the resort?” We both looked spun around holding double fisting our beers. A smiling, young, GORGEOUS super model type woman was looking at us. A friendly face in Eastern Europe? What was happening?
“Please, come sit!” I shrugged and took a seat and smiled at her. I introduced us both and told her that we were in fact staying at the resort. She began asking us how we liked it, we gave our opinions and she gave hers. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Melinda was from Prague, and I told her that I was heading to Prague in a few weeks with my best friend. “Oh, we must meet up! My husband is a photographer. He’s from the US, he does great work. I’d love to schedule you both for a photo shoot!” She seemed really sweet, and I loved the idea of having memories that last a lifetime. I took down her Facebook information, but didn’t give her mine. Good thing.
The Man of My
When I pictured this sweet and beautiful woman’s husband, I pictured a laid back young bro from the US. So, when she said excitedly, “Oh! There’s my husband!” and I saw the poster boy for a pedephile I was aghast. He looked angry, and like he was hiding something. Being polite folk, we introduced ourselves all the same. “The beer here is shit, I hate this place” was how he said hello. My husband is a social butterfly and responded, “Well, I think free beer is the best beer” to which the man said nothing.
The husband never looked us in the eye and answered only in yes or no responses. “So, do you like it in Prague, being from the US?” I asked. “No.” Silence. I tried again. “Do you get to visit the US a lot? I’m sure you have family there.” He smirked. “Let’s just say I can’t go back for a while.” Silence. What a catch! What a dreamboat!
“Honey, why don’t you tell them how we met?” He looked straight ahead and was emotionless. “Fine, I’ll tell the story.” She looked at him with a smirk, and began speaking. “He was a photographer at a night club in Prague. He gave me his number, when I went there one night. I didn’t want to text him because he’s fat and ugly, and I was young so I didn’t. Everytime I went there he would bother me about dating him. A few months later, I slipped into a coma. I decided to text him, and we got married.”
I didn’t know what to say then, and I don’t know what to say now. Of course this weird couple in Bulgaria would find their way into my life. If you know me, that’s just par for the course
My husband and I gave each other “the look.” If you and your partner or friend don’t have one, make one for situations like these – or a code.
TIP: Have a code for getting out of an uncomfortable situation discreetly. Make sure you and your travel buddy know what the code is ahead of time. An example might be, “Shit! I forgot to take my antibiotic, again. Sorry – we need to go back to the room.”
“It was nice meeting you guys, we’re going to go for a swim in the pool” I said with a fake smile. The husband gazed at us from side to side and did his creepy smirk. “I thought you said the water was too cold.” What the FUCK. Luckily, I’m quick on my feet in these scenarios. “Yeah, I’m eating crow right about now because I’m sweating. I can’t believe how brutal this sun is today.” He just stared at us, and Melinda smiled her biggest smile yet. “Don’t forget to message me when you get to Prague!”
Fat chance, ya fucking weirdo! They were truly the weirdest couple in all of Bulgaria at that moment – I’m sure of it.
This weird couple in Bulgaria really freaked us out.
My husband and I agreed that they were most likely involved in sex slave trafficking. Whether she was his actual wife, in on the act, or a victim, I’ll never know. What do you think?
What I Learned From This Weirdo Encounter:
- When meeting new friends, jot down their contact information, but maybe don’t give yours away. You can see why above!
- If someone that you meet talks about how much their friend/spouse/partner would like you or should meet you – red flag!
- Have a discreet excuse ready to go for uncomfortable situations. You and your fellow traveler(s) should know the ‘signal’ ahead of time.
- There is no “safe type” of person. Don’t assume that because someone is a couple, parent, or professional that they are normal, sane, and safe.
The awkwardness isn’t over! Click here for more!